And the Mormon Tabernacle Choir might have sang the national anthem at every major sporting event. How cool would that have been?

Last week’s Boston Phoenix (Beantown’s equivalent of the Washington City Paper) reported a rumor from unnamed political observers that “large numbers” of Massachusetts Democrats had re-registered in order to vote in Tuesday’s Republican primary. Ostensibly, the goal was to once and for all terminate Mitt Romney’s presidential hopes by piling on votes for the competition and denying the former absentee governor the delegates from his occasional former state. Although it was an inspired idea, as plans hatched out of pure spite often are, it hardly seemed worth the bother. Assuming anyone actually went through it, they were not going to prevent Mitt’s one primary slam dunk. But more to the point, Romney’s chances of winning the nomination were always about as likely as his claim that he “saw” his dad march with Martin Luther King while all three, Little Rom, Big Rom, and MLK, were in different cities.

If Democratic Luddites wanted to bring the Republican presidential machine to a grinding halt, it might have been better to try to disrupt (legally, in a non-Watergate way, of course) the McCain campaign. Derailing the Straight Talk Express™ this fall certainly promises great fun, but having Romney at the top of the GOP’s ticket would have been the real dream. The chance to elect a CEO President who could run the country like a corporation? Well sure, because it’s been working so very well these last seven years. Double Guantanamo? That’ll show the Islamofascists and the Geneva Convention what’s what. Constitutionally ban gay marriage? Let’s face it, if you don’t count divorce, it is the number one threat to traditional marriage, so we’ll need a president who can make it a top priority. Award our highest office to a guy who once stuck his dog in a pet crate and strapped it to the roof of his car for a long family road trip? Sounds like the kind of cruel-but-efficient problem solving we’re going to need to get this country back on track.

Oh, what a campaign it could’ve been.